Find me here... http://thisisheather-ly.blogspot.com/ xoxo

Well. We survived the past couple months. Not sure how we managed, everything that could possibly be thrown at us has been. But here we are in Surprise. Learning how to dance in the rain. Life seems to be looking up finally, and I can feel the happy right around the corner. I have plans for a new blog. New chapter. Until then Merry Christmas and cheers to the new year! xo.

4 months old.... Loves: binkys, blankies, being swaddled, being held (oops), tv, toys that make noise, his brother paying attention to him, eating (we just tried cereal, and he was such a little piggy) baths, and dad ( Clint walks in the room and he giggles) Dislikes: Carson's "mean" dinosaur noise, not being held, not being feed immediately, gas, lotion, and strangers... ;/ Mom's loves: He has slept all night since three weeks, he is chubby, he is all smiles all the time, he lets me cuddle and hold him all I want. I love how the boys are brothers.. Dalton already watches Carson's every move and likes to hold his big trucks which Carson isn't to fond of... But its fun to see how their bond has already begun.. I couldn't be happier with them.

Loved This

He's here!

He's here, he's here, he's here! We are in love!

He looks so darn cute in this picture..... I can't believe I will have another... what a ride this is going to be! Laundry is done and put away, bags are packed, house is clean.... Baby it's time.

Today

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:34)

untamed

"This is only a phase .... just wait till he gets older," I want to believe this to be true but after hours of trying to get Carson to stay in his bed I realized, this is who he is.... a determined, strong willed, impatient, demanding, little stubborn turkey. Clint's dad was here to witness the event. As I came back into the room, Carson in arm defeated once again he told me something I found very empowering and hope to hold on to. He said back in the old days... when Indians would look to trade or buy horses they wouldn't pick the same a cowboy would. They believed and loved the wild spirit a horse had within. They would choose the most untamed, unfettered rowdy horse of the bunch. They thought once a horse was "broken" his spirit was broken as well. Indians believed that animal and man were considered as being the same, neither one above the other. All things were considered different, but equal, from nature’s perspective and to break part of life’s web meant to break the whole. Very different than the cowboy's point of view. He told me that I couldn't be a cowboy (cowgirl) but that I had to be an indian and work with Carson's strong spirit. This made me think... as I crawled into bed and my son put his head onto my pillow to share, holding my hands, & ocasionally brushing my bangs off my cheek... I have to find this indian mentality.....

2

At two Carson's passions are : Bubbles, go diego go, cars, trucks, trains, animals & long boarding with dad. I still can't believe he is 2! My heart aches a little at how fast it's going... but these milestones are oh so fun! Some of my favorites Jumping, dancing, twisting.. he has found out how to move his body and that's what he does. He cracks us up. He is Clint's shadow wants to do everything he does. When we get ready he pulls all of Dad's things out of the drawer and he gets ready with that stuff while I do my thing. He loves animals... we have to be careful when we see stranger dogs.. No Carson we can't just pick up the neighbors black lab.... He has become more of a snuggle bunny and requests mom to do it with, which I oh so love!! He is such a little helper.... now if you want his help is a different story :) He truly cares about others and doesn't want to see anyone sad... We thought he would love homeward bound but when the cat was in trouble and going down the waterfall he broke down sobbing yelling no kitty, no kitty no! It took forever to console him and show him that silly cat sassy made it. Made me feel awful I put him through that! He keeps me on my toes and there are those days... but boy does he melt my heart!

Last year I did my motto of the year "Find Joy in the Journey Now." It's still on my side bar and connected to the great talk that inspired me if you want to check it out. This year was a little harder... I wanted something simple yet pro founding for me, for my family. It hit me today as I watched Carson catch a football in his arms and then continue to do it again and again. ( I'm ecstatic to show Grandpa because my dad will tell you Carson is going to bring the Vikings to the super bowl.) As I watched Clint beam from ear to ear and Carson laugh and shake his head at his new accomplishment. Tears filled my eyes (not unusual during this pregnancy) but I was over come with how much life has altered since having him. How much we have all grown and transformed. I know it's terribly sappy... all this from Carson catching a football, but it's true. So my motto this year is Cherish. Cherish the little, the hard, the happy, the stressful, the blissful moments. Sounds simple.. but how easily I forget. As my baby is now turning two and is talking more and more I want to savior him as he is now to be able to remember clearly his little spirit. As well as the little adventures life seems to bring our family.

Valentines day was always a big deal growing up. My dad made it that way. My mom, sister and I would all wake up to a surprise. Accompanied by a bouquet of red roses on the table and single roses in two vases. As valentines day approaches and there is a swarm of advertisements on the web, TV and mail my mind isn't drawn to Clint but these memories of my dad. My dad and mom are two very different people, that when together compliment each other perfectly. My mother is shy at first but becomes center stage after she has warmed up. While my dad is quiet but very approachable, he prefers to be more behind the scenes. When I was younger I thought nothing really of my parents other than they were my parents. Having children of my own I have come to appreciate the person that they are... I so badly want to implement them in how I do things. I have watched my dad with Carson... he began very awkward. I caught him looking at me to see if he was "doing" it right. Smiling I nodded and allowed my mother to take the reigns. As Carson got older he got more comfortable the two of them sit and watch monster trucks and laugh... I have watched him teach. Sometimes it's with Clint, explaining something with stocks or such. I swear he had a large part in why Carson could put a puzzle together at 1. I pick up now when he is trying to teach me something I wish I had done when I was younger. I watch how he interacts with Lacey and remember vaguely similar conversations growing up. How he play fights with Carson and remember all of those same tickle spots. I have never heard my dad speak ill of any one and if he ever caught my sister or I he would correct us promptly. We are coming to yet another milestone in Carson's life he will be two in March. I'm hoping I can share the same things my parents did for me. I feel very blessed to have them around in case I fall short.

I refused to have a crush on Clint Doyle when I met him. Don't get me wrong it was incredibly hard with those handsome greenish/ blue eyes that have perfect eyebrows that shape them and his thick brown hair. Ahhh yes, it was hard but I was not going to fall for this studly, dry humored sarcastic guy. Nope he knew all the ladies at work thought he was hot stuff and I was not going to be one of them..... He called me a lot.. I never answered. One time (by accident) it was him on the other end of the phone. He asked me if I wanted to grab some ice cream? I told him I was lactose intolerant... which is true but still I was short with him. He never gave up. He was always around at work and eventually we became great "work friends" Never allowing us to associate out of the office. The more I resisted the more he tried... and finally I gave in. After hanging out with mutual friends he asked me on a date. He looked down and kicked my car tire and confessed he had a thing for me and would really like it if I let him take me out. I smiled. We were going to dinner and a movie. He came to my door like a gentleman. Looking him over I smiled, his pants were rolled up showing the top of his old brown boots and his tucked in forest green shirt. He led me to the car with his hand on my lower back. He hates chilli's but knew I liked it I smiled when we pulled up to the restaurant and he rolled his eyes as he opened my door to let me out. He nervously tried to hold my hand in the theater almost spilling the drink in the middle. I smiled. and moved the middle drink and nestled into him a bit. He stiffened and had a huge grin. He walked me to my door where he faced me holding both of my hands. He told me he would really like to do this again and kissed me on the cheek and gave me a hug, good night Heather. I smiled. Good night Clint. I went inside laid down still smiling and thought crap... I am one of them. Needless to say... months later we were married. I thought about that first date on our anniversary (1/27) and smiled.

Carson, Thank you. You have put up with a lot these past couple months. Your trips to the park have become far and few between. We have spent hours in the dreadful spare room where I put you to work putting tiny diapers for your soon to be brother in one box to another, while I sit in almost tears wondering where to put all the junk... Speaking of tears you are amazing when I become a weeping willow. I swear it wasn't like this when I was pregnant with you. I don't know how Diego can make me that weird happy teary eyed. You look at me with your dad's handsome serious eyes that you inherited and loudly say, "oooooohhhhhh mom." Then you make this fake laugh.. loud and from the belly and do it until I chime in. You know that gets me laughing in minutes. You have been really needy and giving me the best excuse to not mop the floor. I get to justify it with I held you all afternoon. You don't mind that I feed you the same thing everyday. Especially when I was so big at making you different things for our fun lunches together. You are the best little helper and are always right there when I am cleaning something. Actually you follow me every where like a little puppy. I know you're doing something naughty, if your not in the same room with me. (Lotion all over my couch, my black eyeshadow streamed across your face like a disguised GI Joe, a tub of Vaseline massaged in your hair.) You just seem to know when I need to rest and lay with me on the couch or you are coloring and or playing quietly with your hot wheels. The only request is Diego or DJ Lance be on the tube. You're talking so much more and my heart melts when you yell," MOM ove you!" Because I love you so much too. We have 2 and 1/2 months and things are going to be different... but I promise I'll make it fun! Back to the park buddy! Love, Love, Love you! xoxo mom

These Days.

I am eating again enjoying food. I have to be careful of smells and mornings are still "slow" but boy am I feeling soooo much better! Carson... where do I begin everything is OH NO!( his favorite phrase) He loves all animals (we are on watch with him with the dogs... he likes to pick them up now... not good.) Thomas the train is soooo in at our house CHOO CHOO! He is drinking out of a cup at meal times and does wonderful with it. I always sigh when we hit another big boy phase. He is all about dad and I have to say the jealousy that I had for this is starting to fade. I'll work on recruiting the next one to be a mamma's baby we will see.... Speaking of babies we had our big ultra sound today. Did not find out the sex of the baby. They wrote it down and put it in a manila folder with a cookie monster sticker to seal it. It's sitting on my desk taunting me. I am trying to stay strong but seeing that baby on the screen all kinds of excitement flooded through me! I looked in my rearview mirror on the way home and could just picture to car seats back there! We have been calling Carson big brother and he smiles and says big while nodding his head. Clint has been working 16 hour days sometimes 18... Its awful, the whole family is miserable with out him and I hate how hard he is working. Makes me feel very guilty. He really is something. He works and works and works and comes home tells me to sit down and does the dishes... I know its cliche but I am one lucky gal. This year his Christmas spirit is in over drive. Thanksgiving night I slept soundly not even realizing my husband had left to go black Friday shopping! He has made our spare room into Santa's workshop off limits to all and is giddy over the gifts for the kids. Usually its the opposite! He decided to take off the whole week of Christmas.. We are just ecstatic going to be a great Christmas! Hope you all are enjoying the Holidays! Planning on being a better blogger... pictures and more to come!

Good health has been something my family has been lacking. Especially from my side. My poor poor husband has had to play both roles. I was diagnosed with a light case of Hyperemesis gravidarum (sever morning sickness) they are going to put me on an IV pack if I can't get hydrated. My husband claimed this was our last baby after he found me passed out on our bathroom floor next to the toilet... classy I know. But I can't say I am far from disagreeing with him. I need to be strong for my family but as the nurse at the urgent care calls me I am a puny pregnant.... I was finally starting to feel on top of my morning sickness. I could keep down crutons and gatoraid was finally starting to stick when Carson came down with a bug. No biggie until my throat started to hurt as well and I realized just what my poor baby bear was suffering through. He has a double ear infection which explains why he refuses to sleep (he is running on 4 hours right now) and strep throat. I too was diagnosed with strep and I can honestly say I would rather not be able to swallow than have ms but I am doing both. The doctor gave us antibiotics and with sad eyes told me they will make me nauseous. I said "awesome." We are just waiting for this storm to past. My goodness it has been a long two months but as one of my favorite quotes goes "The darkest hour is the best time to see the stars" My chin is still up... sorta... ask me next week....ha ha

Just so you know these lids are plugged and on some not all you have to take scissors and poke through the plastic.... Carson was throwing a fit by the fridge for milk I was super smart and kept trying to give him more of the new ones (the plugged ones) Not my smartest moment... just saying.

After the first baby it gets easier....myth

Whenever Carson goes into the bathroom he flips up the toilet lid puts his head over the bowl and makes that Blaaaagggghhhhhggg sound..... can you guess how I have been spending my days? Whoever said the second time would be easier (eh hem mom...) was lying. The doctor put me on light bed rest.... my husband put me on heavy ( his orders are to do nothing) I have become useless. I know he is worried... I have had light bleeding we have had so many miscarriages we are just holding our breaths... Babies heart rate is good and I am really sick which everyone tells me is really good... But I am not good at doing nothing. I like projects, errands, friends,playing with Carson, date nights with Clint ect, ect.. So just sitting here holding my breath I'm going crazy... I don't dress Carson during the day any more who cares if he rocks the diaper? I don't get dressed either... as I came up from a long session of heaving I caught my reflection in the mirror and I wanted to cry. I know this is worth it... right? Two maybe three more weeks... and the morning sickness or all day sickness or all night sickness should subside. I really hope so...

Carson's scare 10/7/09

Carson and I were in our spare room trying to get it cleaned up to make room for baby things. There was a pot of fake flowers in there with a stake that had a humming bird on the end. We have been very proud of him learning all of his animals ! He shows me and starts saying tweet tweet. It was time to head out and get Lace from school I was going to stop by Jamba as a treat for the kids so we were leaving a bit early. I told him come on bud lets go get sis. He got very excited like always and was ready to go. I told him to put the stake back and that's when everything turned sour. He was moving towards the pot and tripped over his own feet and fell. I thought it was just an uh oh because he didn't cry right away. I pulled him up from the floor and as I did the stake came up with him. He grabbed it and pulled it out. Then the screams came. I ran him into the kitchen and was trying to see were he had hit. There was too much blood and it was making him sick. In a panic I started looking for keys as I held a kitchen towel to his mouth. Blood started pouring out and he was getting even sicker. I held him over the kitchen sink and tried to have him rinse it out. Our home phone hasn't been working ( hard to hear the other person on the line) but it was all I had... I called 911 and no one picked up, called again and again no one picked up, called a third time no answer I was furious but was able to leave a message... not a very nice one I might add. As I was picking up Carson to head out 911 called us and told me an officer was around the corner. I flagged her down and the rest is a little foggy. We had about 30 people in our house 3 police officers, 2 ambulances and a fire truck. Carson was very lethargic at this point and had given up trying to cry they put him on a stretcher and started taking him towards the ambulance. I was in I guess a state of shock I kept repeating I had to get Lacey and the officer took my phone and said it was taken care of they had me get into the ambulance with Carson. He was just so still... my son is always moving always on the go I started to cry and the officer grabbed my hand and told me be strong he's watching. We drove like what seemed forever to Banner desert. Clint was there when we got out of the ambulance and my legs started shaking. His eyes gave me no reassurance that everything was going to be okay. We went in the ER where things seemed to move swiftly. He got a cat scan and the Dr came. What had happened is when Carson fell the end of this stick skidded on the hard pallet of the roof of his mouth (closes to your front teeth). It then went through the soft pallet (back by your tonsils) and into his nasal cavity. The concern was did it go through the back wall of his nasal cavity. This is where major arteries and your brain stem is located...... The answer after a long wait and after Clint gave Carson a blessing ... was no. However with this hole in his mouth they couldn't give him anything orally . They were unsure how much it could flood through so they stuck him with an IV. He had problems with the IVs his whole stay and his poor little hand (their fourth attempt) is still so swollen from it backing up/ clotting. Carson slept on and off through the night just wanting reassurance that we were by his side. The next day he slept most the morning and after the doctor got a look his injury had already started to heal. They put him on clear liquids and by the night he was able to have milk which he loved. My mom came and stayed with him the second night so Clint could go to work the next day and I could take on the day shift. We came back early Friday morning to see him in a wagon looking at the bunnies with grandma. We are so blessed that it wasn't any worse. The Ent (ear,nose, and throat) Dr was amazing and put me at ease. He explained for me what to do and gave me his cell phone so I could reach him day or night. His injury looks good and is healing nicely. We have to continue to watch him for neurological issues but we are hopeful that all is going to be well. He is asleep in his own crib now and has a small smile on his face. We are so grateful for the love and support of family and friends. Thank you for the prayers we love you all so much!

Bring it.

I am jumping! The doctor told me this was the week I was clear. I have been taken off the progesterone and these past couple weeks I have felt awful. Who in there right mind would be happy hugging the toilet?? If it means that my body is doing what it needs to do and I don't have to add another lossed baby to my list bring it! I love being pregnant! When Carson was 3 months I remember beaming at Clint batting my lashes asking for another. He laughed and told me as many as I like. I love the belly, the food, the comfy attire. Most of all that moment in the hospital when you meet this person you have helped make for 9 months. And I know that in about 2 more weeks maybe more.. My house will be clean again and I will be blogging about not being able to resist the french fries and ding dongs! Fingers crossed here's to those days!

What a picture couldn't capture....

Clint has a new position and has been working really late. Carson always seems to wake up for him. (He hears dad get home and wants nothing else) We thought that if we let him cry it out a bit he would fall back asleep, but then we heard knocking on his door.... (this is his new thing) we caved. Clint opened it and there was Carson smiling arms up waiting for his dad. We chatted a bit then headed for bed Carson glued to Clint's side. I crawled into bed and Clint laid the boy down next to me. (I go by the book, babes in their own bed) I looked at Clint with a raised eyebrow and he smiled that smile and tells me I really miss him too. The lights are off and Clint finds my hand to hold in the dark. I'm then surprised by another little hand that wants mine but settles for on top of both of ours instead. I fall asleep happy with both of my boys. Through out the night Carson would wake up a little distorted I guess... he would realize where he was, and proceed to give Clint and I both kisses through out the night before he fell back asleep. It was one of those moments that I wish I could bottle up forever.